Thursday, May 30, 2013

Me, then (again)

Me, then...again on *sparklingly []
{ NYC from across the Hudson this weekend }

And so as not to be too much of a downer, here's another few snippets of my (formerly?) snarky self:
Monday, May 29, 2006

95N is NOT the Place to Scrimp

Clearly I didn't learn anything the last time I purchased an inexpensive Greyhound ticket to NYC. Maybe next time I'll spring for Amtrak...or JetBlue, as I don't think I can take another trip with these characters:

International Princess:
Must be nice to be pampered and petted, and live the good life as a DC sorority girl slumming it up by taking the bus to NYC for the weekend. Did you really feel the need to spend the majority of the four hour bus trip discussing the merits and demerits of various celebrities' bone structures? Were my deathly glares and aggressive rustling of the NYT pages in your direction not enough to clue you in that you were REALLY PISSING ME OFF?!

Heroic Bus Driver:
He must have known I was in hell, so he kindly turned up the air conditioning ALL. THE. WAY. Not only were my ears bleeding, but my appendages were then frozen. Nice balance, no? But, luckily he got my heart racing again by having lengthy cell phone conversations with his buddies while driving a few tons of steel. Up 95. In. the. rain.
Sunday, June 27, 2006
Know what's a really big pain in the ass? Personal maintenance. I mean really, do you know how much time a day I spend doing the bare minimum? After getting out of bed I have to brush my teeth, rinse my face, put on deodorant, go to the gym...then, come home, shower, again with the deodorant, spend (too much) time slathering pretty cream all over my various appendages, swipe my ears with a q-tip, slap on some moisturizer....then, after breakfast, again with the teeth brushing and putting on of makeup, perfume, clothes, jewelry, etc.
It's like, enough already, right? And I'm not even someone high maintenance that's applying—I don't know, eyebrow gel—but even the minimalist approach is tiring!
Then, when I come home from work I have to spend time making a healthy, vegetable/whole grain laden dinner, wash my dishes, make my coffee, rinse out the appliance, pack lunch for the next day, reset the espresso machine, put out breakfast. Enough is enough. And to think, all this stemming from me realizing I have to schedule my 6-month teeth cleaning.

Sunday, June 29, 2006
Adventures in Indian Dining
Let me paint a little picture for you:

I sit at an outdoor table waiting for friends to join me for dinner. The nice waiter comes over to ask if I'd like to order a drink while I wait. I politely decline, motioning that the water is fine. While minding my own business the following happens.

Drunk Lecherous Man With Cigarette Dangling from Lips (while standing behind me): Are you Persian?

Me (barely turning around): No.

DLMWCDFL: Where are you from?

: I'm Portuguese & Indian.

DLMWCDFL: Like, East Indian?

: No, I'm from the western part of India.

DLMWCFDL: So not like Cowboys and Indians?

: No, Indian as in from the country of India.

DLMWCFDL: And from Brazil?

: No, Portuguese as in from the country of Portugal.

DLMWCFDL: Oh really? Like in that movie Moon River?
[Edited to note in 2013 that I still don't know what movie he meant...]

: (to myself) "WTF?!", (to waiter) Sir? Actually, I think I'll have a drink.


  1. aaaahahhahaha hahaha! ah..... sometimes you make me miss NY! you know it takes a while to withdraw from the expected random harassment. At first you feel like - ei! wtf is wrong with me!??? why are you not whistling and making comments!???? dutch men just stare using peripheral vision- that's it. I wonder is Sweden is this way too?

    1. Ha, probably! No way would a Swede be so aggressive, presumptuous and forthright as to whistle, let alone call something out. ;)

  2. Maybe you should have pretended you didn't speak English...

    1. Ah, yes, that would have solved all sorts of dilemmas!


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