Saturday, December 29, 2012

An unburdening

*sparklingly (
{ Peacock roaming about | Honduras | December 2012 }
This holiday I'm trying so very hard to "turn off", which is harder said than done (clearly, since I'm typing on a gadget at the moment). But, in this case, letting my feelings go here is probably a good, cathartic thing (versus mindlessly checking social media or work emails which is usually not).

A lot has happened this year: family situations, work situations, life situations (Hi Sandy!)—but the last few months have been especially challenging.

I took on too much work.

I dealt with natural disasters (although to a much lesser degree than many, but to a higher degree than everyone in my circles here in NYC).

I've had my life shifted a bit as we've had a houseguest for three months (yep, that's not a typo). Even though our houseguest is extraordinarily respectful and helpful and we have fairly opposite schedules, it still jars the rhythm of daily life for me. I'm the opposite of my brother in that I'm extremely protective of my space, my sanctuary. Our apartment is small (~650 sq ft), and each inch is put together and arranged in a way that calms and soothes me. I don't necessarily want a big house ever (although I see the benefits when you have a long-term guest), I just want a space that's sacred to me. And, it's taken a much bigger toll on me than I thought it would to not have the space to myself (when I say "myself", I mean R & I, although he knows how precious my space and time is to me and he gives me lots of both). Even now, while we're away, our guest is still at our apartment PLUS two additional ones. Granted, these are people very, very close to me, but that doesn't change the fact that knowing our home is being fully inhabited by someone other than us two makes my eye twitch.

I know I need to let (it) go.

Part of this two-week hiatus from life in Honduras is a chance to breathe in and out. To ignore those nasty niggles that someone is sprawled across my bed at this very moment. To turn off everything around me and just focus on the elements that we get to experience here together: fire of the sun, water of the sea, wind through the palm trees and this beautiful earth below our feet.

So far it's working.

(Although, it did take some major unwinding, but I might go so far as to say that I'm actually completely relaxed right now).


  1. I know exactly what you mean about your apartment being your sanctuary. I NEED that alone time, and I'm very particular about how everything is organized, my schedule, etc. When Aaron and I were debating moving to NYC a few years ago, I always said it would be so important for me to have a nice apartment to escape the craziness. And like you mentioned, my brother is also the total opposite. Funny how that happens...

    Hopefully you can bring some of that vacation relaxation back with you to the city. :)

    1. Thanks, Amanda! Hope so, too.

      And, we have even more in common than I thought! You know apartments are ridiculously priced here -- I actually made conscious decision to put a little more money towards rent because having a cozy, comfy, pretty haven from the hectic is so vital to me (and let's face it, I'm such a homebody that it was easy enough to make that choice and pull from an unnecessary, for me, "clubbing/partying" bucket ).

  2. umm.... have another cocktail IMMEDIATELY! I don't feel you've let go completely! follow it up with a tequilla boom-boom..... in this sence i'm the opposite of you. I relax when a house is FULL of people. Being alone is stressful to me. :) oh well

    1. Ha yes, a bit different. I prefer small groups to big parties and definitely need my private down time! It is about that time for another cocktail though... ;)


Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a note—you're about to make my day!